Break free

There was a girl named Zoey. She was beautiful, smart and funny. There was a boy named Erik, who thoughts that she was the most perfect girl he had ever met.

They started a relationship, the perfect one. They went to the cinema, had fun with friends, saw movies at home... The time past and she started to get bored, but he was falling in love more and more every day they were together.

In a couple of months, he was totally obsess with his girlfriend. Zoey realised it, and instead of telling him that she didn't feel the same, she started to use him. Why? Because he would have done whatever she wanted just to make her happy, and she knew it. 

I know there are some of us that have been in Erik's position and eventually all we want to do is break the jail we're in when we are in love and to be free to do whatever we want. So, this song is for us. 

Childhood

Sometimes I think about when I was young, and I couldn’t wait to grow up. I talked with my cousin about how much we wished to be sixteen, because we thought we were going to be beautiful and have the freedom to eat candies whenever we want.

When we are young everything we want is to be as tall as our parents or smart like our teachers. In my case, I wanted to be older because I wanted to hear the sound of the computer keyboard keys fast when I used it.

But then, my wish came true. I was sixteen, and I thought about myself when I was six, and how much I wanted that moment to come. It was so different of how I thought it was going to be, I didn’t feel pretty and I didn’t like candies anymore. In that moment I started to feel bad about the time, because it past and I couldn’t stop it, and I was going to have eighteen someday and I would need to make important decisions about my future.

I wanted to go to the university because everything in my life was a mess, and I needed new people and a new place where no one knew me. Then, surprisingly, things got better, and I was happy, and I didn’t want to go to the university because I didn’t want any change. 

I'm not sure where do I want to go by saying all this things. I guess I just saw my little sister and thought about myself when I was  four, and I feel bad about a lot of things that I've done since then, but I also feel good because my mistakes helped me to be how I am today¹. We are never comfortable with what we have, forgetting that we should enjoy the moment. 

Fear

Fear of making the wrong choices.

Fear of finding dead someone I love.

Fear of madness.

Fear of whole darkness.

Fear of losing my friends.

Fear of not being alive to see my sister growing up.

Fear of drown.

Fear of being someone breakheart.

Fear of sadness.

Fear of feeling too much.

Fear of betrayal.

Fear of snakes.

Fear of the demons inside my mind.

Fear of being useless.

Fear of falling in love again.

Fear of the day when I’ll have to leave.

Fear of not being able to get over the disappointments.

Fear of not having a reason to live.

Fear this day will end and I won’t have had the time to do what I’m supposed to do.

Fear of waking up to find I have grown up.

Fear of not loving and fear of being loved.

Fear of end as my father did.

Fear of making the wrong choices.

I’ve said that.

Freewriting

  In my opinion, the freewriting is the best way to write. I don’t like it when someone tells me about what or how I have to write. When you have the freedom to do whatever you want on an essay, it is always funnier and you don’t feel the same pressure as when you have to do it in one way, following the instructions that someone has told you. Also, I like to read freewritings because it shows a part of the personality from the writer, and it is always interesting. Those are the reasons why I prefer to write that way